Rose-Colored Lenses
by Kara Wild
Summary: Quinn learns that she needs glasses, and has to live with the fear that she might be viewed as a nerd. Written 1.5 years before "Is It Fall Yet?"


"Daria" is owned and copyrighted by MTV. All rights reserved. This is **not** an episode, but the best imitation of an episode that I could write. Thanks to the creators of "Daria" for providing so much rich material for fanfics... 

This is a **revised** version of "Rose-Colored Lenses" [June 1999]. I've weeded out most of the annoying camera angles, allowing for easier reading... which means a pain-free introduction to my chronology. :-)

This is my first fanfic, so I hope I don't sound as though I've been stealing from other fanfics that I've read. If so, I'm sorry... I'll develop a more unique style in time.

Oh, and those who are visually-challenged who read this may want to leave their judgment at the door...... Enjoy!!!

[intro theme music..........................]

# ROSE-COLORED LENSES

_by_

## Kara Wild

* * *

**ACT ONE**

SCENE 1 (_lockers after school._)

(Shot of Quinn and the Fashion Club standing there, chattering on about their favorite subject.)

**SANDI:** I hope Cashman's has those capri pants I saw in Waif. I would look **so** cute in those.

**TIFFANY:** You **would**.

**SANDI:** And Quinn, maybe we could try on -- oops! (_pats her face, fakes a memory lapse. Bt_) That's **right** - you can't go 'cause you have that **thing**.

**TIFFANY:** Oh yeah, that **eye** thing.

**QUINN:** (_a bit annoyed_) **Yeah**, you keep reminding me.

**SANDI:** (_faux remorse_) It's just such a **bummer** you can't be with us, that's all.

**QUINN:** (_downcast_) I **know**! I **tried** to get out of it, I mean he's my **geeky** cousin's optimist guy, so why should **I** go to him?!!

**F.C:** Right.

**QUINN:** (_continuing_) But he lays this big **guilt** trip on my mom, saying how my chart shows I haven't had an eye exam in, like, six years, so my mom **freaks** out and now I'm stuck getting my eyes experimented on when I should be where I belong -- hunting down the latest fashions with the **rest** of you guys!

**F.C:** Right.

**TIFFANY:** Those eye machines are **so** creepy.

**SANDI:** (_smirking_) **And** they make you look like a big **geek**.

(_Quinn shudders a little._)

**QUINN:** All they'll find out is that my eyes are fine. Unlike **some** people, I've got perfect vision.

**SANDI:** (_faux modesty_) I **know** what you mean. When those eye people did their experiments on **me**, they found out I had 20/15 vision.

**QUINN:** (_wary. a little jealous_) **Really**?

**TIFFANY:** Whoa, that's **amazing**, Sandi. They found out the same thing about **me** when I went last year.

(_Quinn frowns._)

**QUINN:** Hmmmm...

**STACY:** I've got 20/10 vision!

**F.C:** (_genuine surprise_) **Whoa**!!!

**SANDI:** (_coolly impressed_) So I suppose that means you can see through walls, or **something**.

**STACY:** No, but I can read those little labels on clothes, the kind that tell you whether the all-cotton you bought is **really** all cotton, or just a poly-blend.

**F.C:** Wow...

**QUINN:** (_to Stacy. encouraging_) An untapped talent. This could mean big things for you, Stacy.

**STACY:** (_thrilled at the validation_) Thanks, Quinn!!! (looks for another way to impress her, sees a girl down the hall, off screen, and points in her direction) Hey Quinn, do you think the polka dots on that girl's sleeve are this season or last season?

(Quinn looks, squints. Cut to shot from her P.O.V. -- the girl looks like a fuzzy blob. resume wide shot. Sandi notices Quinn's difficulty and smirks.)

**QUINN:** (_scoffing. a little embarrassed_) Who cares, the whole **outfit** is last season.

**SANDI:** (_still smirking_) Oh **really**?

(Quinn laughs nervously and glances behind her. She then notices Daria, who has sneaked up behind her during this conversation. )

**QUINN:** **Agh**!!! (_She backs away. Daria smirks._)

**F.C:** **Ewwwwww**!!! (_They back away a couple of steps_)

**QUINN:** (_fuming_) I **told** you, Daria -- you have to keep five feet away from me at all times, at **least**. **Ten** if I'm with a guy!

**DARIA:** (_devilish, feigning innocence_) Oops, must've slipped my mind, siiiiiiiiii (_sees Quinn's alarmed expression_)... coz.

(_Bt_)

**SANDI:** (_a bit unruffled_) Well, Quinn, now that that **girl's** here, maybe you should go to your eye **thing** and leave the rest of us to try and survive in your **absence**.

**DARIA:** (_to herself_) Shopping -- a life of despair, death, and superficiality cast over an abyss of sorrow. [see postscript]

**F.C:** (_not hearing her_) Bye, Quinn! (_They walk away._)

**STACY:** We'll miss you!

(_Daria rolls her eyes. Quinn calls out to the F.C., now off screen._)

**QUINN:** Bye guys! I'll be fine, I mean my vision's probably **improved** with age -- lots of things do!

**DARIA:** (_deadpan_) Like hair color or skin.

(_Quinn turns to her, irritated._)

**QUINN:** Ha-ha, Daria, very funny. (_Bt_) And would you get **away** from me?!!

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 2 (_a residential sidewalk_)

(Shot from the side of Quinn and Daria walking, Quinn several paces ahead. Music plays [I don't know **what** because I don't follow the latest trends!] Cut to frontal shot with Quinn in the foreground, Daria in the background.)

**QUINN:** (_still fuming_) I **still** don't see why you have to go with me! I mean everyone already **knows** you have vision problems!

**DARIA:** (_calling out_) What?! I can't hear you!

(_Quinn sighs, exasperated. Turns around, walks toward Daria._)

**QUINN:** I s'pose we're far enough out of range that no one from school will **see** me with you.

(_Cut to frontal shot of Daria and Quinn walking._)

**DARIA:** (_deadpan. slightly annoyed_) That's a good thing for **both** of us.

**QUINN:** So do you plan to just drop me off and **leave**?

**DARIA:** Noooo, believe it or not, I've got business with Dr. Gordon myself. I'm changing my contact lenses.

(_Quinn utters a short laugh._)

**QUINN:** (_sarcastic_) To one's you'll actually **wear**?

(_Daria frowns at her._)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 3 (_optometrist's office_)

(Shot of the outside of the medical building -- the same one from "Through a Lens Darkly." Cut to shot of the inside of a waiting room, Daria and Quinn standing with Dr. Gordon. At their left is a receptionist's desk. Along the back wall: a corridor which leads to the exam room and row-upon-row of glasses frames. At their right is a magazine-covered table and several chairs.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_to Daria_) So, your contacts have worn out with use, have they?

**QUINN:** (_muttering_) **Unuse** is more like it.

**DARIA:** (_turning to Quinn. phony sweetness_) Touché, sis. You're really nailing the one-liners today.

(_Dr. Gordon sighs._)

**DR. GORDON:** You know, Daria, if you just --

**DARIA:** Nope.

**DR. GORDON:** But if you just thought --

**DARIA:** I have.

**DR. GORDON:** You know, you could really... (_gives up. exasperated_). Well, have it your way. I've got a softer pair in my office. Maybe **that** (_cut to frontal shot of Daria as he says this_) will make you change your mind.

(_Daria smirks knowingly._)

**QUINN:** (_to Dr. Gordon. hopeful_) Yeah, and then after that she can just head on home, **right**?

**DR. GORDON:** Actually, Quinn, I'd rather she stick around and help you walk home. We've gotta dilate your eyes -- you haven't had **that** done for a while, have you?! (_He says this last bit in a jolly tone, gives Quinn a phony jab in the ribs._)

(Quinn gasps, horrified. Daria sighs -- she doesn't want to stay, but sees she has no choice.)

**DARIA:** Fine. Why see vampire dentists on "Sick Sad World" when I can watch my sister stumble around with zombie eyes, instead?

**DR. GORDON:** Come on, Quinn...

(_Quinn follows him, terrified expression._)

(fade-out. fade-in to waiting room a short time later. Daria is pacing around, obviously bored. Cut to close-up of male receptionist at his desk.)

**RECEPTIONIST:** (_helpful tone_) There are some really nice magazines on the table if you want to read them.

(cut to close-up Daria, looking at receptionist. She shrugs, unenthused, then trudges over to the magazine table. Stands over it, reads aloud titles on the magazine covers.)

**DARIA:** (_reading_) Waif... Capri Pants, the new **slenderizer**. (_Bt_) T.V. Land Special Fall Preview... 1986. (_to herself_) A hallmark year in entertainment. (_Bt. resumes reading_) Va--

(Sees that it's an issue of VAL. Close up shot of the words "bummer culture." resume shot of Daria by the table. Glances around, then stacks other magazines on top of VAL.)

**DARIA:** (_resumes reading. slightly sarcastic_) **Glasses** World. (_Pause. eyes widen. surprised tone_) **Erotic** Eyewear?!

(_cut to close-up receptionist_)

**RECEPTIONIST:** That's one of our favorites.

(cut to close-up Daria. She turns around, unnerved that the receptionist was listening. Hesitates, then reaches toward the magazine. Is about to turn a page, when off screen, she hears sound of Quinn screaming. Pause, then: )

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) Daria!

(_Daria snatches her hand back_)

**DARIA:** Last time I checked.

(_Dr. Gordon walks quickly toward her._)

**DR. GORDON:** (_nervous_) I need your help. Um... I couldn't talk your sister into looking through the refraction machine.

**DARIA:** So you tried shock inducers instead?

**DR. GORDON:** Could you **please** just come with me and convince her to stay in the chair?!

(_Daria sighs._)

**DARIA:** I guess. (_follows Dr. Gordon out of the waiting room_) That's why they pay me the five-fifty an hour...

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 4 (_Dr. Gordon's exam room_)

(Shot of a chair and refraction machine in the foreground, a door in the background. Quinn is cowering behind the chair. We then see the door open, and Dr. Gordon and Daria walking through. Daria stops, looks at Quinn, and frowns.)

**DARIA:** Quinn, what are you **doing**?

**QUINN:** (_freaked_) I **can't** look through that thing, Daria. It's all **creepy** and it's got big **bug** eyes and it makes **me** look like a bug and if Sandi, Stacy, or Tiffany ever saw me here I'd just **die**!

**DARIA:** (_to Dr. Gordon_) Vanity crisis. I'll handle this. (_Daria walks over and stands by the chair._) Quinn, your friends won't see you here. They're braving the foxholes at Cashman's, remember?

(_Quinn nods, somewhat encouraged._)

**DARIA:** So why don't you just sit in the chair and get the eye exam over with? Then we can forget this day ever happened.

(_Quinn nods._)

**QUINN:** Okay....

(She creeps out from behind the chair and slides in. Dr. Gordon rewards her with a goofy thumbs-up.)

**DR. GORDON:** Now **there's** a girl!

(_Meanwhile, Quinn's looking more relaxed. She swings her legs._)

**QUINN:** This isn't so bad. (_stops swinging legs, gets an alarmed expression. turns to Daria, worried_) You won't **tell** anyone what I looked like in this thing, will you??!!

**DARIA:** (_droll_) Not a chance. (_flashes her thumbs in an imitation of Dr. Gordon_)

(_Quinn smiles at her timidly. Then Daria lays down her arms and smirks._)

**DARIA:** And if Spiderman crawls by looking for a date, I'll tell him to take a number.

(Quinn gets horrified expression, which quickly changes to a glare. Dr. Gordon groans and rolls his eyes.)

(fade-out. fade-in reveals short passage of time. Shot of Quinn sitting in the foreground, looking through the refraction machine, Daria sitting unobtrusively in the background. She's in the room to lend support in case Quinn freaks out again, and also because she thinks that this could be even more entertaining than "Erotic Eyewear.")

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) Okay, Quinn, why don't you read me the letters in the second-to-last row?

(_cut to shot of the eye chart_)

**QUINN:** (_off screen_) Um... okay. Q... P... Z... um, I... um... three...

(_cut to close-up of Daria, watching Quinn_)

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) Quinn, there are no **numbers** on this chart.

**QUINN:** (_off screen. insistent_) Well it **looks** like a three!

(Daria turns to look at the eye chart. Her eyes widen, indicating that Quinn is completely wrong.)

(fade-out. fade-in shows another short passage of time. Close-up shot of Daria gazing in Quinn's direction, frowning and shaking her head.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen. sounds exasperated and tired_) Okay, Quinn, now I'm going to cover your right eye, and then you read me the letters in the second-to-last row.

(cut to close-up of Quinn looking through the refraction machine. From off screen left, a hand reaches up and flicks a switch near one of the lenses. Pause. Quinn is silent.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) Okay, Quinn.

(Quinn is still silent. cut to close-up of Daria, watching her expectantly. resume close-up of Quinn.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) Quinn, you can read the letters out now.

**QUINN:** (_exasperated_) Well I **will** once you put the eye chart back up!

(fade-out, fade-in. Close-up of Daria. She has a hand clapped to her forehead, wears a "this is unbelievable" expression.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_off screen_) O-kaaay, Quinn, now just follow this pen with your eyes. Follow... follow... follow... f -- damn!

(final fade-out, fade-in. Daria and Quinn sit at a large desk, their backs to us, across from Dr. Gordon. Dr. Gordon wears a serious expression.)

**DR. GORDON:** (_hesitant_) Well, Quinn, these are some very interesting results.

(Before he can go any further, Quinn breaks in. Her eyes are enlarged -- think "glitter berries" look in "The Teachings of Don Jake" -- from pupil dilation.)

**QUINN:** (_on a different track_) So these eye drop thingys will wear off in a few hours, **right**? 'Cause I have outfits I need to try on for tonight and it's important that I see the shade and texture of the clothes or else I --

(Meanwhile, Daria gazes sideways at her, looking sheepish because she knows what's coming next. Dr. Gordon interrupts.)

**DR. GORDON:** Quinn, I'm afraid I have some bad news. (_Bt_) Your tests indicate that your vision has suffered a decline since your last exam.

(_Quinn suddenly looks nervous. She utters a little nervous laugh._)

**QUINN:** Oh really? How **much** of a decline?

(_Pause_)

**DR. GORDON:** Well, when you were ten, you had 20/20 vision. (_Bt_) Now you have 20/100 vision.

(_Quinn gasps._)

**QUINN:** (_freaked_) So what does that **mean**??!!

**DR. GORDON:** It means you can only see at twenty feet what **everyone** else can --

**QUINN:** (_waving her arms in the air. shouting_) I **know** what it means!!! I just didn't want to **hear** it!!!

(_Bt_)

**DARIA:** (_to Dr. Gordon_) I think you've rubbed enough salt in her wounds.

(_Dr. Gordon sighs._)

**DR. GORDON:** The bottom line to this, Quinn, is (_Bt. cut to dramatic close-up of his mouth_) you're going to need glasses.

(_cut to close-up of Quinn. She looks horrified._)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 5 (_Morgendorffer house, evening_)

(Shot of the outside. We hear Daria's voice-over. While she speaks, cut to shot of the family eating the **usual** for dinner. Helen's listening to Daria, looking stunned and chastened. Meanwhile Quinn, her eyes still a bit dilated, is slumped over and looks depressed. The whole time Daria's been saying: )

DARIA: ... So then he said, even if it does have over a thousand mall locations, Glasses in a Half-Hour isn't **exactly** the most reliable place to get your kid an eye exam.

**HELEN:** (_recalling. futile despair_) But dammit, I only **had** a half-hour! The Morrisons' lawyers were breathing down my neck and if I didn't cut a deal with them **soon** they said they'd --

**DARIA:** (_patient_) **Mom**, the point is that they probably messed up when they checked Quinn's vision six years ago. It's probably been going downhill for a long time.

(_Quinn moans._)

**HELEN:** (_still upset_) Well I just don't believe -- Jake, **pay** attention!

(Jake's been making a smiley face with his bacon and lasagna. He looks up, startled.)

**JAKE:** Huh? I was!

**HELEN:** (_to Daria_) I mean, can't she at **least** get contact lenses???

**DARIA:** (_deadpan, but clearly finds humor in the situation_) He said, not with the astigmatism she's got.

(_Quinn suddenly explodes._)

**QUINN:** I don't see **why**, then, he won't let me get the freakin' laser treatment!

**DARIA:** (_frank_) Quinn, no laser invented could cure all the stuff that's wrong with your eyes.

(_Helen glares at Daria._)

**HELEN:** Daria, **try** to be a little more sensitive.

(_Quinn's also glaring at her._)

**QUINN:** Oh no, Mom, let her talk. You know she's enjoying this. She gets to see me become a **freak** like her!

(_Daria smirks innocently. _)

**HELEN:** Listen, Quinn, I -- (_interrupted by the phone ringing nearby_) I'll get back to you in a second. (_picks up phone_)

**DARIA:** (_under her breath_) Saved by good ol' Eric.

**HELEN:** (_crooning voice_) Helllloooo? **Hi** Eric! No of **course** I don't mind you calling at this hour -- (_voice fades into the background_)

**QUINN:** (_bitter_) I don't care what that stupid doctor said. There's no **way** I'm gonna wear a pair of geeky-looking glasses!

**DARIA:** I'm sure there are enough pairs of **cute** looking glasses around that you wouldn't have to make that choice. May I suggest wire rims?

**QUINN:** Just shut up, Daria!

(_Bt_)

**DARIA:** (_getting serious_) Look, Quinn, how do you plan on getting by without glasses, now that Dr. Gordon says you need them?

(_Quinn suddenly backs out her chair and stands up._)

**QUINN:** The same way I always have! (_cringes at the brightness of the room -- her eyes are still dilated._) And dammit, can't someone dim the lights in this **freakin'** house?! I can't stand it anymore!! (_runs off screen_)

(_Jake and Daria watch her go._)

**JAKE:** (_calling_) Quinn, honey, why don't you tell ol' dad your problem?

(Daria gives him a "too little, too late" glare. Meanwhile Helen, in the midst of a pause, has managed to observe this turn of events. She decides to do the unthinkable -- interrupt her call.)

**HELEN:** (_apologetic tone_) Eric, can I call you back?

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 6 (_upstairs of Morgendorffer house, later that evening_)

(music plays. Shot of hallway outside of Quinn's room. Her door is slightly open -- we hear her talking on the phone to Sandi. From off screen left, Helen walks over to Quinn's door and stands beside it. She looks uncertain about what to do next.)

**QUINN:** (_from inside room_) She **did**?... I can't believe that, I mean she **knows** that's about three years out of style -- why would she **do** something like that?!

(cut to inside shot of Quinn's room. Quinn is lying on her bed, balancing the cordless phone on one ear while flipping through an issue of Waif.)

**QUINN:** Uh-huh... yeah, well I was, but I can't go out with my eyes all blurry can I, I mean how would I co-ordinate my wardrobe? Uh-huh... Sandi, I **told** you they're normal. The exam was, like, a **total** bore, but at least I avoided that creepy eye machine you all were talking about. Uh-huh... uh-huh... mmm-hmm... 'kay, well have fun without me, Sandi. Bye. (_hangs up_)

(_cut to shot of Quinn's door. Helen peers through._)

**HELEN:** Quinn, can I come in?

(resume shot of Quinn in her room. She looks startled. Thinks her mom wants the phone.)

**QUINN:** (_exasperated_) O-kay Mom, I get that you **really** need to use the phone -- here. (_holds it up_)

(Pause. Helen walks over to her, makes a motion that tells her to lay the phone down.)

**HELEN:** (_serious_) Actually, Quinn, I wanted to have a one-on-one with you about glasses.

(_Quinn looks down at her magazine, frowning slightly_)

**QUINN:** (_subdued_) I stand by my decision.

(_Helen sighs._)

**HELEN:** Quinn, you **can't** go without glasses, not when -- (realizes this won't get through to her, decides to use a different approach. Helen sits down on Quinn's bed. Her voice takes on intimate tone.) You know, Quinn, sometimes I think you and Daria shortchange yourselves.

(_Quinn's eyeing the magazine, looking bored._)

**QUINN:** What d'you mean?

**HELEN:** I mean... well, what I mean is, you two cling **so** tenaciously to your social identities, and --

**QUINN:** (_interrupts, flatly_) In **English**, Mom.

(_Pause_)

**HELEN:** Quinn, you used to be a good student.

(_Pause. Quinn frowns._)

**QUINN:** Not as good as Daria.

**HELEN:** Well n-- (_realizes this admission could get her in trouble_) **But**, you still did very well until you reached your teens. That's when your grades started to slip.

(Meanwhile, Quinn's still frowning, but her eyes drift toward Helen, showing she's listening.)

**HELEN:** (_continuing_) I just **assumed** it was because of social worries -- peer pressure, trying to look good in front of the boys... (_eyes narrow, goes off on a rant_), so that they can do better and get ahead while the **girls** get left behind in their entry level positions because they lack experience! How do they **think** we got a glass ceiling --

**QUINN:** (_interrupts. exasperated_) Mo-om, where are you **going** with this?!!

(_Bt_)

**HELEN:** (_gets back on track. apologetic_) Quinn, my point is that I feel partially to blame for the problems you've had with school. I assumed it was a **popularity** issue and never once thought that maybe your problems were medical.

**QUINN:** (_solemn_) Oh.

(_Helen reaches over and puts a hand on Quinn's shoulder._)

**HELEN:** I don't want to see you underestimate yourself in the same way. If glasses can **expand** your choices in life, then I think you should give them a try.

(cut to close-up of Quinn. Pause. Then Quinn sighs an "I'll think about it" sigh.)

**END OF ACT ONE**

[Split screen of Quinn cowering behind the optometrist's chair and Daria snatching her hand away from the "Erotic Eyewear" issue.]

You are now entering commercial **HELL**. Please keep your seat belt securely fastened. You are about to see three of the lamest commercials put on television.

  * Bratty little kid spills his drink all over the new white carpet. Mom comes in -- instead of making kid clean up the mess himself, says in a sunny voice, "That's okay!" and proceeds to do it for him. Lesson learned: Mom is my slave.

* Jennifer Love-Hewitt bounces around in a cutesy-poo towel, selling a brand of shampoo that no one remembers because everyone's too busy wondering if the cutesy-poo towel will slip....

* One of those MasterCard/Visa commercials, where a heart-warming moment costs megabucks. Ball game with your son: $$$$ Trip to Ireland: $$$$$$$$ The love you get: priceless. Of course, you could have gotten that love if you'd just gone on a picnic in the park, but never mind....

You are now leaving commercial **HELL**. Aren't you happy you survived?

## 

ROSE-COLORED LENSES

* * *

**ACT TWO**

SCENE 1 (_Jane's house, afternoon_)

(Outside shot of house. cut to inside shot of Jane's room. Jane's standing at her easel, painting in the tradition of Picasso instead of Goya. Daria lies on Jane's bed, reading The Bell Jar. cut to close-up of Jane's painting. We see it's a face with multiple eyes, each with some major distortion. resume wide shot of Jane and Daria.)

**JANE:** So explain to me again what made her cave in?

(_Daria's holding the book up over her head and flipping through._)

**DARIA:** I'm not sure I know. My mom said it's because she wanted to be more like **me**.

**JANE:** I see, brain damage. (_Bt_) What happened -- did she almost suffocate on her Mr. Smiley pillow again?

**DARIA:** No. Though that **would** explain a lot. (_Bt. lays book on her stomach_) The weirdest part is that my mom told her being like me is a **good** thing.

**JANE:** Hey, haven't I always said you're the favorite one in your family? (_Bt, mischievous_) Too bad they don't know you like **I** do.

**DARIA:** (_deadpan_) Ha.

**JANE:** Admit it, your twisted mind's taking heightened pleasure in Quinn's suffering.

**DARIA:** Why admit the obvious? (_Bt_) Anyway, it'll be interesting to share my designer egghead apparel with my sister. (_Bt. smirks_) If we work together, we could confuse the hell out of our parents.

**JANE:** Or maybe **you** can be the pretty and popular one of the family, now.

**DARIA:** (_scoffing_) Yeah, right.

**JANE:** Hey, at least **you** can wear contact lenses. **She** can't.

**DARIA:** (_uncomfortable_) Oh... right. (_searches for a different topic. looks at the painting_) Hey, um, you really captured the keratoconus of that cornea.

(_Jane gets a wicked expression on her face._)

**JANE:** Wish I could be there when the **real** Quinn comes back with her glasses.

**DARIA:** Well, it's pretty much a family affair. But trust me, it couldn't be much worse than the stuff of your imagination. (_nods at painting_)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 2 (_optometrist's office, that same afternoon_)

(close-up shot of Helen sitting in one of the waiting room chairs, absorbed in the "Erotic Eyewear" issue of Glasses World. Wears a bemused, aroused expression.)

**HELEN:** Hmmmmmm... (_flips a page_)

(_Meanwhile, off screen, Quinn's picking out frames for her glasses._)

**QUINN:** (_off screen_) Cute... cute... cute... possibly cute... cute... cute... maybe -- oh, why not... cute... cute... cute. (_Pause_) Mo-om!

(_Helen gasps, looks up from the magazine._)

**HELEN:** Huh, what?! (_sees Quinn. eyes narrow_) **Quinn**!

(cut to shot of Quinn. She's holding about twenty different frames and smiling her blissful, oblivious smile.)

**QUINN:** (_chipper_) Okay, I think I've found the frames I need to co-ordinate with **most** of my outfits, some of these are just **possibilities** but I'm keeping them anyway --

(_cut to close-up of the receptionist._)

**RECEPTIONIST:** (_enthusiastic_) Great! I'll put it on your bill!

(_cut to shot of Quinn._)

**QUINN:** (_continuing_) Although I may have to come back another time and --

(_cut to close-up Helen, bristling._)

**HELEN:** (_interrupting. no-nonsense_) **Quinn**, you are **not** keeping all those pairs of glasses. You're getting **one** pair and **one** pair only, so you'd **better** choose wisely!

(_cut to shot of Quinn, now crestfallen._)

**QUINN:** **One** pair??!!

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 3 (_Morgendorffer house, early evening same day_)

(Short musical interlude. outside shot of the house. We see Daria walking up the path to the front door. cut to shot of the front door as seen from the inside. Daria opens it. Stands there. Pause.)

**DARIA:** (_deadpan_) You're both home. I guess that means the fun's about to start.

(cut to shot from Daria's P.O.V: Helen and Jake seated on the center of their three couches.)

**HELEN:** (_briskly_) Daria, come sit down.

(_Pause. From off screen right, Daria walks over to the right hand couch._)

**DARIA:** So where's our main attraction? (_sits down, nearest Helen_)

**HELEN:** She's upstairs, trying on some new outfits that go with her glasses.

(_Daria cocks an eyebrow... or eyelid._)

**DARIA:** **New**?

(Helen sighs heavily, telling Daria that she was somehow coerced into letting Quinn buy new clothes. Jake, meanwhile, looks hyper-charged.)

**JAKE:** (_enthused. clueless_) Well I think it's **great**! Imagine, Quinn's **so** happy about getting glasses, she felt like buying a new **wardrobe** to celebrate!

**DARIA:** (_deadpan_) Yeah, my thoughts exactly. (_Bt_) Say Dad, random question: have you ever thought about getting your **hearing** checked?

**JAKE:** What **for**, kiddo? I hear just fine!

(Daria rolls her eyes. Bt. Helen looks sideways off screen. Her face brightens.)

**HELEN:** Here she comes! (_Pause_) Oh Quinn, you look lovely. (_Pause. leans toward Daria. hissing whisper_) Now, I'm counting on you to be **supportive**, Daria!

(cut to close-up shot Daria. She nods apathetically, then glances upward. resume wide shot of the couches. Quinn is standing with her back to us in the foreground, arms outspread. Her hair is done up in the same style as in "Daria Dance Party." She's dressed in a pink blouse and "slenderizing" capri pants, and carrying a black purse over one shoulder. We can't see her face.)

**QUINN:** Okay, what d'you think?

(_cut to close-up Daria, looking at her. She frowns mildly._)

**DARIA:** So where **are** they?

(_cut to full frontal shot of Quinn, glasses-free._)

**QUINN:** (_sentimental_) I just wanted you all to have one last look at the **old** me, the **real** me, before it's all (_gasp_) gone.

(_resume wide shot of the couches. Helen looks slightly exasperated._)

**HELEN:** Quinn, no one **here's** going to treat you **any** differently once you put your glasses on.

**JAKE:** No way, hon! (_pointedly_) **Right**, Daria?

**DARIA:** (_blasé_) Uh-huh.

(_Quinn suddenly gets a nervous look on her face._)

**QUINN:** Um... okay, then.

(Quinn glances in Daria's direction, then draws a small black case out of her purse. She opens the case and lowers her face. cut to close-up shot of Jake, Helen, and Daria watching expectantly. A silhouette of Quinn's hand and the glasses passes over the shot. Pause. Then we see Jake, Helen's, and Daria's reactions. Jake and Helen break out into smiles and murmurs, while Daria just stares.)

(cut to close-up Quinn's face. She's wearing glasses that are smaller and thinner-rimmed than Daria's -- think Amy's in "Through a Lens Darkly." The frames are dark brown instead of black. resume wide shot.)

**JAKE:** (_enthused_) You look **wonderful**, sweetheart!!!

**HELEN:** Oh, Quinn, they're just **perfect**!

(Meanwhile Daria continues to stare. Quinn smiles timidly, then glances in Daria's direction.)

**QUINN:** (_nervous_) Um... so what do you think, Daria?

(_Daria frowns slightly._)

**DARIA:** (_thought voice-over_) Be supportive. Tell her something she won't take too hard. (_Bt, aloud_) Uh... they stand proudly and proclaim, "I am."

**HELEN/JAKE/QUINN:** **What**?!!

**DARIA:** Um, kidding. (_Bt_) Let me think....

(_Pause. Helen, Jake, and Quinn exchange subtly irritated looks._)

**DARIA:** Well, they're pleasingly symmetrical. (_Pause_) And... they flatter the face, yet manage to avoid detracting attention from the outfit. (_Pause. Meanwhile, Quinn's face is brightening from the praise._) In short, when I look at you, (_smirks_) I feel like I'm looking in a mirror.

(Pause. Quinn's expression changes to one of fury. She utters a sharp cry and lunges at Daria. Daria manages to roll away and jump off the couch just as Quinn hits it. She stands there, watching Quinn and smirking. Then Helen intervenes. She wears a glaring expression.)

**HELEN:** (_angry_) Quinn... (_looks at Daria_) Daria, **what** did I tell you? Go to your room.

**DARIA:** I'm gone. (_to Quinn_) Later, brainiac. (_She leaves._)

(Meanwhile, we see Quinn holding the glasses as though she's ready to hurl them across the room. Helen reaches out to stop her.)

**HELEN:** (_still angry_) Quinn, you break those, you buy them. And **believe** me, you don't want to know how much they cost!

(_Quinn slumps forward, clasps her legs._)

**QUINN:** (_to herself. self-pitying_) I can't **wear** these things! How'll I face my friends at school tomorrow?

(_The shrill sound of an alarm clock ushers in the next scene: _)

SCENE 4 (_next morning, on the way to school_)

(Music plays. side shot of Quinn and Daria walking down a residential sidewalk. Except for her glasses, Quinn's dressed in her usual attire. She walks several paces behind Daria. cut to frontal close-up Daria, with Quinn in the background.)

**DARIA:** (_to Quinn_) You know, school only lasts until three. You may want to pick up the pace.

(_cut to close-up Quinn -- shoulders sagging, miserable. She doesn't respond._)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 5 (_Lawndale High_)

(Outside shot of the school. Some people mill around near the building. cut to close-up of Quinn, watching this scene. She glances around nervously, then takes off her glasses. cut to shot of school from her P.O.V. It looks completely fuzzy. cut to close-up Quinn. She frowns a "Why didn't I realize this before?" frown. Looks down, and is about to put her glasses back on when, off screen: )

**JOEY:** Hi Quinn!

**JEFFY:** Hi Quinn!

**JAMIE:** Hi Quinn!

(The 3 Js approach, smiling fawningly. Quinn quickly shoves her glasses back into their case.)

**QUINN:** (_surprised_) Uh, guys, where did **you** come from?

**JOEY:** What's that you're holding?

**JEFFY:** Want me to carry it for you?

**JAMIE:** **I'll** carry it for her!

(Quinn's face takes on a serene expression. She hides the glasses case in her purse.)

**QUINN:** (_cheery_) **Guys** stop fighting! You can **all** take turns carrying **me**!

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 6 (_Daria and Jane's lockers_)

(wide shot of Daria and Jane. Jane's leaning against her locker, Daria's opening hers.)

**JANE:** I was waiting for you. What happened?

**DARIA:** Sorry, had to play escort. My mom wanted me to walk Quinn to school to make sure she wore her glasses. (_fiddles around in locker_)

**JANE:** (_mischievous_) Ah, so at last the moment of reckoning has arrived. I can't wait to see her. (_Bt_) Say, your family loyalty wasn't spurred by a little **bribery**, now, was it?

**DARIA:** Yeah, bribery in the form of: "If you do this for Quinn, I won't ground you for two months." Let's just say I wasn't the good big sis last night.

**JANE:** You made fun of her glasses.

**DARIA:** Yep.

(_Jane shakes her head with mock disapproval._)

**JANE:** Daria, Daria, Daria, what **are** we going to do with you?

**DARIA:** You could put me in one of those overseas adoption programs.

(As she says this, Jane looks off screen to the left, a semi-confused expression on her face. We hear the 3 Js arguing.)

**JOEY:** You're pressing too hard!

**JEFFY:** You're not giving her enough back support!

**JAMIE:** You're not stuck with the legs!

(Daria and Jane stand in the background while, from off screen left, the 3 Js appear in the foreground, carrying Quinn. Her expression's still serene, her arms outspread a la "Titanic". Daria hardly bats an eye as they move across the screen and disappear.)

**JANE:** So, are these glasses of Quinn's the new **invisible** kind I've been hearing so much about?

**DARIA:** (_shaking her head_) Didn't take her long to find an excuse not to wear them, did it? (_Bt_) Some people just can't handle the thought of their image being messed with.

**JANE:** Not like you.

(_Daria slams her locker shut._)

**DARIA:** **Definitely**. (_then realizes Jane's playful sarcasm and frowns._)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 7 (_DeMartino's classroom_)

(_Extreme close-up shot of DeMartino's head, bulging eye and all._)

**DeMARTINO:** (_to his class_) PEOPLE, **PLEASE**!!!

(cut to a wider shot of the classroom, DeMartino standing in front of the blackboard.)

**DeMARTINO:** (_continuing_) **Pay** attention! We're STARTing our little **journey** through Manifest DESTINY today --

(Shot of Quinn and Stacy sitting in the back of the classroom. Stacy's chewing gum and flipping through an issue of Waif. As DeMartino carries on, cut to shot of the classroom from Quinn's P.O.V. DeMartino looks like an animated blob and the markings on the blackboard are indecipherable. cut to close-up Quinn. She peers down at her purse on her left hand side. Then she reaches into it, draws out the glasses case, and removes the glasses. Slowly, covertly, she lifts the glasses to her face. cut to a new shot of the classroom from Quinn's P.O.V. DeMartino looks normal and the markings on board the legible. resume close-up Quinn. She gasps.)

**QUINN:** (_to herself_) So that stuff he writes **does** make sense!

(_cut to wider shot. Stacy's blowing a bubble._)

**STACY:** Huh? (_bubble pops in her face_)

(Quinn yanks off the glasses and hides them before Stacy can look in her direction.)

**QUINN:** Umm....

(cut to shot of classroom from Quinn's P.O.V. Everything's fuzzy except for the desks. Quinn sees an empty desk towards the front of the room. Turns to Stacy.)

**QUINN:** Uh, I think I'm gonna take Jeannie's old seat for today, the girl next to it looks like she's having a **major** fashion crisis.

(_Stacy gazes in that direction with her 20/10 vision._)

**STACY:** Um, Quinn, I think that's a guy.

**QUINN:** Even worse. (_gets up_) See ya. (_leaves_)

(cut to side shot the desks. Quinn creeps up the row to the empty desk, then sits down and settles in. Suddenly, DeMartino's head bursts into the shot, causing Quinn to cower.)

**DeMARTINO:** Weeeeeeell, **Daria**!!!

(_Quinn quickly recovers, looks cross._)

**QUINN:** **Quinn**! (_not the first time this has happened_)

(_DeMartino sneers, his eye bulging._)

**DeMARTINO:** Right, **Quinn** -- got conFUSED for a moment. MAYbe since you've **actually** decided to JOIN us in **class**, Quinn, you could give us the PHILOSophy behind Manifest DESTINY!!!

(_Pause. Quinn frowns with thought._)

**QUINN:** (_hesitant_) Um... okay... it's where all of us have futures that are, like, already picked out n' stuff?

(_Pause_)

**DeMARTINO:** Interesting observation, Quinn... unfortunately WRONG!!!

(_Quinn cowers a little._)

**QUINN:** Oh.

**DeMARTINO:** AMERicans used Manifest Destiny as an **excuse** to settle in Mexican **territory**! (_Bt_) Would ya tell me something, Quinn?

**QUINN:** Uh, what?

**DeMARTINO:** How come your SISter --

**QUINN:** (_compelled to sound pissed off, in spite of herself_) **Cousin**!

(_DeMartino sends her a full-on glare._)

**DeMARTINO:** Your RELATIVE knew this when I asked HER, but not **you**??!!

(_Quinn now looks pissed off._)

**QUINN:** Because I'm **not** Daria!

**DeMARTINO:** I'LL say you're **not**!!

(_Quinn folds her arms. Now she's **really** pissed off._)

**QUINN:** Well what's **that** supposed to mean?!

**DeMARTINO:** Figure it OUT!!!

(_Quinn looks a bit wounded._)

(_sound of a bell ushers in change of scene: _)

SCENE 8 (_cafeteria -- lunch_)

(Wide shot of cafeteria. cut to close-up of the Fashion Club sitting at its usual table. Quinn and Stacy sit on the right hand side, Tiffany and Sandi on the left. Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany are gazing around the cafeteria. Quinn sits slumped over, picking at her lack of food.)

**STACY:** (_with her 20/10 vision_) That girl over there -- her pores are, like, totally **clogged**.

(_Tiffany and Sandi look at the girl to whom Stacy's referring._)

**TIFFANY & SANDI:** Ewwww!

**STACY:** And she's got a mole the shape of a snail on her collarbone.

**TIFFANY & SANDI:** Ugh!!!

(_Bt_)

**SANDI:** **Stacy** we are **so** lucky to have you with us. You can see all the **disgusting** people ahead of time and warn us to stay **away** from them.

**STACY:** Thanks, Sandi!!!

(_Quinn raises her fists in the air._)

**QUINN:** (_enraged_) Oh rub it **in**, why don't you?!! (_pounds fists on the table_)

(_Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany look shocked. Quinn quickly looks chastened._)

**SANDI:** (_cocking a brow. haughty_) Quinn, you've been acting **very** strangely today.

**TIFFANY & STACY:** Yeah.

**SANDI:** Are you experiencing some sort of **fashion** crisis?

(_Quinn looks embarrassed._)

**QUINN:** (_trying to sound normal_) Uh, **gosh** no, Sandi, I mean I was just -- (_tries to change the subject. talks fast_) Um, have you ever noticed how many people go to this school? I mean, you walk down the halls and there are, like, tons of them ever --

**SANDI:** Quinn, save it. (_faux noble tone_) If you're having a **crisis**, you can **tell** us.

**TIFFANY:** We're your friends, Quinn.

(_Pause. Quinn looks slightly encouraged._)

**QUINN:** Um, okay. (_Bt_) Remember when I told you I had perfect vision?

**F.C:** (_nodding_) Uh-huh.

(_Pause_)

**QUINN:** Well, it's **not** perfect. In fact (_Pause, almost afraid to continue. dejected tone_) I had to get glasses.

(_Pause. The F.C.s don't respond. They sit there, stunned._)

**QUINN:** (_off screen_) Uh... guys?

(_Pause_)

**SANDI:** Uh, I see. (_best authoritative tone_) Well, Quinn, why don't you, um, show them to us? (_Bt. slightly ominous_) Put them on.

(_Quinn laughs nervously._)

**QUINN:** Um, 'kay.

(She leans over so that her back blocks our view of her face. Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany exchange looks of anticipation. After a few seconds, Quinn sits upright, wearing the glasses.)

**F.C:** (_sound of gasping_) **Hgh**!!!

(_Quinn slumps over, face burning._)

**QUINN:** (_melodramatic_) Oh God, I **knew** this was a mistake!

(_Bt_)

**SANDI:** (_struggling to sound calm_) Quinn, they're **not** that bad.

(Tiffany and Stacy can barely nod in agreement. Quinn buries her face in her arms.)

**QUINN:** Oh, you're just **saying** that!!!

**SANDI:** No really, I -- (cut off by the off screen voices of the 3 Js saying a triple "Hi Quinn!")

(The 3 Js appear side-by-side at Quinn's end of the table. Quinn lifts her face to look at them. The 3 Js expressions change from fawning to horror when they see Quinn's glasses.)

**JOEY/JEFFY/JAMIE:** **Argh**!!!! (_they run off screen_)

(_Quinn reaches after them._)

**QUINN:** (_calling_) Guys... **Guys**?! (_enraged_) **Dammit**! (_yanks off the glasses and sits there, dejected._)

(The F.C.s are now silent, except for Stacy, who starts making her little hyperventilating noises. Suddenly, Sandi puts up her arms in a "calm yourself" motion.)

**SANDI:** **Stacy**. (_Pause. Stacy stops hyperventilating._) It's all **right**. The Fashion Club can handle a little **diversity** in its ranks. **Quinn** can be in charge of showing nerds -- uh, I mean, people with glasses -- how to dress **cool**.

**TIFFANY & STACY:** (_nodding limply_) Yeah.

(_Quinn looks at them gratefully._)

**QUINN:** (_timidly_) Thanks guys... you're real friends.

**SANDI:** (_well "duh" tone_) Of **course** we are.

(_Bt_)

**QUINN:** Um, I'm gonna see if I can track down Joey, Jeffy, and Jameel. (_stands up_) I'll be right back. Uh, carry on. (_exits left off screen_)

(cut to frontal shot of Quinn walking away from the table. She pauses, glances to the side, knowing that the rest of the Fashion Club will start talking about her once she's gone. In the background, the other F.C.s sit innocently at the table, watching Quinn. Finally Quinn exits the screen. cut to close-up of the table with Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany.)

**SANDI:** (_low voice_) She has **got** to go.

**TIFFANY:** Definitely.

(_Stacy's eyes widen with horror._)

**STACY:** What do you **mean** "go"?

**SANDI:** (_to Tiffany, not paying attention to Stacy_) I can't even **look** at her. She looks like that **girl** who **lives** with her.

**TIFFANY:** Totally.

**STACY:** (_desperate_) But you **told** Quinn --

(_Sandi and Tiffany look at Stacy, Sandi with her megabitch expression._)

**TIFFANY:** Sorry, Stacy.

(_Stacy starts trembling and hyperventilating._)

**STACY:** No... NOOOOOOOOO!

(_Sandi stands up and pounds the table._)

**SANDI:** **Stacy**!! (_sits down_) We **have** to be strong about this!

**TIFFANY:** It's for Quinn's own good.

**SANDI:** (_faux moral tone_) She **has** to understand that **fashion** draws a line between the normal people and the **freaks**. Quinn has crossed over to the **freaks**. She can't be **one** of us, anymore.

(Pause. Stacy lays her head on the table and starts sobbing. Sandi eyes her with obvious irritation.)

**SANDI:** (_to Tiffany. faux noble tone_) It hurts **me** the most -- Quinn was like a **sister** to me.

(_Suddenly, from off screen, Quinn walks over and stands over the table._)

**QUINN:** (_nervous_) Well I couldn't find them, I guess they went **outside** somewhere.

(cut to shot of the F.C. from Quinn's P.O.V. They all look at her. Sandi and Tiffany seem embarrassed, Stacy looks devastated. cut to close-up Quinn.)

**QUINN:** (_sees the writing on the walls_) Um, so how are things... here?

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 9 (_Quinn walking home after school_)

(Melancholy music plays. We see Quinn walking alone down a residential sidewalk, in the opposite direction from which she came that morning. Her glasses are off, and she walks with her head slumped forward. cut to overhead diagonal shot of Quinn walking across a street without a crosswalk. A car slams on its brakes and skids to a stop right before it hits her. Another car rams into the side of the first one. Sounds of honking and yelling. Quinn continues to walk on, oblivious. Her face looks pained and saddened.)

(_fade-out. fade-in to: _)

SCENE 10 (_Morgendorffer house, evening_)

(Same music plays. outside shot of the house. cut to shot of Helen sitting on the center couch in the foreground, rifling through papers, and the kitchen in the background. Helen, holds up a piece of paper and studies it. We hear sounds of rapid page-flipping from off screen. Helen turns her head toward the kitchen. cut to shot of kitchen table. Quinn sits there, wearing her glasses. She's flipping through the pages of a textbook without bothering to read them. resume shot of Helen, getting a thoughtful look on her face.)

(_music ends. cut to: _)

SCENE 11: (_Daria's room_)

(Shot of her door from the inside. We hear the sound of knocking. cut to shot of Daria lying on her bed, still reading The Bell Jar. She hears the knocking, rests the book on her chest.)

**DARIA:** (_deadpan_) The no vacancies sign is on.

(_cut to shot of the door._)

**HELEN:** (_outside, concerned_) Daria? Can I speak with you for a minute?

(_Daria sighs._)

**DARIA:** (_resigned_) **Come** in.

(_Helen opens the door and walks toward the bed. Stands over Daria._)

**HELEN:** Daria, was Quinn wearing her glasses at school today?

**DARIA:** That depends. (_Bt_) Do you mean in a literal or a theoretical sense?

(_Helen sighs, shakes her head._)

**HELEN:** I didn't think so. (_sits down on the bed._) Sweetie, I wondered if you'd do me a favor?

(_Daria cocks an eyelid at the word "favor."_)

**DARIA:** Oh?

(_cut to frontal shot of Helen_)

**HELEN:** I thought if **you** wore something you were afraid of, like, oh, your contact lenses, Quinn would feel it was okay to relax about **her** insecurities.

(_Daria frowns mildly._)

**DARIA:** I'm not **afraid** of my contact lenses.

**HELEN:** Well, but I never see you wear them --

**DARIA:** (_flustered -- for her -- and insistent_) I **like** my contact lenses... um, so much so, that I reserve them for special occasions.

**HELEN:** (_wheeling and dealing tone_) Well then how about making one of tomorrow? **Wear** your contacts and show Quinn that you don't **mind** if people treat you differently.

(Daria sits up a little and gives Helen a "you're three bricks short of a load" look.)

**DARIA:** Let me get this straight. You want me to show Quinn that it's **okay** to wear glasses? (_Bt_) By wearing **contacts**? (_Bt. Helen nods._) But by doing so, wouldn't I just be drilling nails into the coffin of her self-esteem by giving myself the **one** thing she can't have -- a glasses-free existence?

(_Bt. Helen sighs._)

**HELEN:** I **thought** you might try some of your sneaky double-talk on me. Which is **why** I decided to offer you a **cash** incentive. Twenty dollars.

**DARIA:** (_without batting an eye_) Fifty.

**HELEN:** Thirty.

**DARIA:** Forty.

**HELEN:** Thirty-five.

**DARIA:** Done.

(cut to close-up Daria's face. She gets an "I can't believe I'm doing this" expression.)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 11 (_Morgendorffer house, next morning_)

(Shot of outside. cut to shot of Daria standing in front of the bathroom mirror, still in her pajamas... her hair mussed-up in that way I know people love! She's putting the second contact lens in her eye. Meanwhile, a rumpled Quinn trudges into the bathroom to do her business. She takes her place beside Daria in front of the mirror, then looks at her.)

**QUINN:** What're you **doing**?

(_Daria blinks rapidly to settle the lens. Glances at Quinn._)

**DARIA:** What does it look like I'm doing?

(Quinn stares at her, confused and sleepy. Then, slowly, realization grows on her face. Gets an expression of horror, then fury.)

**QUINN:** (_tantrum mode_) You **can't** wear your contacts!!!!! There's no **way**, you **traitor**!!!!! I'm staying home!!!!!!!! (_runs out of the bathroom_)

(_Daria watches her go, then looks at herself in the mirror._)

**DARIA:** Oh yeah, that went well.

**END OF ACT TWO**

[Split screen of Daria, smirking, telling Quinn what she thinks of her glasses, and Quinn in glasses, her expression turning to rage.]

You are now entering commercial **HELL**. Please keep your seat belt securely fastened. You thought you could escape, didn't you? hahahahahahahahahaha 

  * Old Navy: "(_Singing_) Drawstring, they're really fit to be tied, Old Navy Drawstring!" Geez, Morgan Fairchild, your career must really be on a downward spiral for you to agree to be in these ads. All those facelifts for naught, I guess...

* Ad to promote "Road Rules Latin America," where they feature the (_formerly_) six cast members and give them cute nicknames. Gladys: "The Fists." Um, 'scuse me, but I thought she got kicked off the show because by hitting Abe she was violating MTV and "Road Rules" policy -- now MTV's **exploiting** it??? Am I not seeing something... or am I seeing too much?

* Fergie doing Weight Watchers... Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!! It's just creepy... almost as bad as seeing Bob Dole do ads for Viagra. Well, at least she didn't use her signature to advertise margarine, which is what the Diana Foundation did with Di's signature a while back. At least she hasn't stooped as low as Morgan Fairchild....

A Mentos commercial would have been too easy. Next time....

You are now leaving commercial **HELL**. Aren't you happy you survived?

## 

ROSE-COLORED LENSES

* * *

**ACT THREE**

SCENE 1 (_Morgendorffer house, still morning_)

(Outside shot of the house. The front door opens and Daria steps outside, looking like her usual self except without glasses. Quinn follows her, also dressed normally, but wears glasses. Both appear calm.)

**DARIA:** So, how much did she pay you?

(_Bt_)

**QUINN:** Five bucks. (_Bt_) A day.

(_Daria frowns darkly._)

**DARIA:** (_muttering_) You **lucky** little --

(_sound of bell ushers in the next scene: _)

SCENE 2 (_Lawndale High, morning_)

(_Inside shot of the hallway, Jane and Daria walking. pan shot as they walk._)

**JANE:** (_teasing_) String of pearls, high heels, a slip dress, and I'd say you're about ready for the prom. (_wicked tone_) Now all you'd need is a **date**.

(From off screen, we hear sounds of catcalls and "whoo-hoo"! Daria turns to look behind her, glaring.)

**JANE:** (_continuing_) And **that** shouldn't be too hard.

**DARIA:** (_annoyed_) **Funny**. (_Bt_) Dammit, I wish everyone would quit staring and mind their own damn business.

**JANE:** Ah, it's the curse of beauty, Daria.

**DARIA:** **And** bribery.

**JANE:** (_faux non-chalance_) Hey, maybe Trent could be your date.

(Daria's face turns bright red. pause shot so that it's focused on the bathroom doors. Jane and Daria continue to walk on, exit off screen right.)

(Cut to close-up of the girl's bathroom door. It creaks open. Quinn peers out, wearing her glasses. She looks in direction where Jane and Daria are headed and watches as they retreat into the distance. She then starts to slip out. Suddenly, from off screen, we hear the voices of Sandi, Stacy, and Tiffany. Quinn glances in their direction and gasps. cut to shot of the three advancing F.C.s from Quinn's P.O.V. resume shot of the bathroom door. Quinn quickly retreats behind it, narrowly escaping the F.C.s., who walk past and exit off screen right. Pause. Then Quinn opens the door, creeps out again, and gazes after them. cut to Quinn's P.O.V. People are filing into classrooms.)

(Melancholy music plays [same from Act II, Scenes 9 & 10]. Quinn watches and waits until the hall is nearly empty, then leaves the bathroom and stands in the middle of the hall. She gazes outward, looking depressed. cut to Quinn's P.O.V. The hall is empty. resume frontal shot of Quinn. She takes off her glasses and looks again. cut to a new shot of hall from Quinn's P.O.V. The hall is now fuzzy except for the nearest lockers. resume frontal shot of Quinn. She heaves a big sigh, her shoulders sagging. She walks toward the bathroom door, goes inside. fade-out.)

(fade-in. Shot of Quinn standing in front of the bathroom sinks, looking at herself with glasses on in the mirror . On her right, we see a garbage can and the bathroom stalls. As she looks, Quinn wears the same forlorn expression. Pause. Then, suddenly, her expression changes to anger and defiance. Quinn turns away from the mirror and yanks off the glasses. She holds them up by the tips of her fingers, as if they were some form of toxic waste that she had to dispose of. Glances around for a few seconds, then notices the garbage can. Quinn walks over to it and holds the glasses over the can. After hesitating for a moment, she finally drops them in. Turns to the right and walks toward the door, past the bathroom stalls. Quinn brushes her hands together in a "that settles that" motion, exits off screen right. pause shot on the middle stall. We hear the sound of the bathroom door opening and shutting. Pause)

(The door to the middle stall opens, and Andrea steps out. cut to shot of mirror and sinks. From off screen right, Andrea walks over to the sink nearest the garbage can. Leans down. Pause. Looks toward the garbage can. Pause. Then Andrea reaches into garbage can and pulls out Quinn's glasses. She wipes them and puts them on. We see what she looks like in the mirror.)

(Melancholy music ends. cut to an abrupt surge of "upbeat" music, ushering in the next scene.)

SCENE 3 (_hallway after class_)

(Close-up Quinn's face, wearing cheery expression as she explains to the Fashion Club what happened yesterday. cut to a wider shot of Quinn standing with the F.C. in the hallway, beside some lockers and a classroom. The classroom door keeps opening, students filing out.)

**QUINN:** So, like, it turned out he wasn't **supposed** to put the dilating drops in **before** the eye exam, **that's** why I did so bad. So the whole thing was, like, a **big** mistake. I'm thinking of suing for damages.

(_Stacy and Tiffany nod._)

**STACY & TIFFANY:** You should.

**SANDI:** (_haughty. slightly disappointed_) Well, that explains a lot, I guess. Let's just, um, welcome you back and forget yesterday ever **happened**.

**QUINN:** (_relieved_) Thanks, Sandi!

**SANDI:** Cashman's after school?

(_The other F.C.s nod._)

**F.C:** Yeah.

(_Bt_)

**TIFFANY:** Wait, doesn't the new shipment of halter tops come today at eleven?

(_Sandi claps hands together._)

**SANDI:** (_shocked_) That's **right**. I must have been **preoccupied** (_gives Quinn the evil eye. Quinn blushes._) or else **I** would have remembered. (_Bt_) We'll have to cut class to be first in line.

(_Stacy and Tiffany nod._)

**STACY & TIFFANY:** Yeah.

(_Quinn hesitates._)

**QUINN:** **Cut** class?

(_Sandi arches an eyebrow._)

**SANDI:** (_megabitch tone_) That a **problem**, Quinn? (_it never has been before_)

(_Quinn's still hesitant._)

**QUINN:** Well, um... (_Her gaze trails off to the right. She's about to respond when..._)

(Quinn's eyes widen. cut to shot of hallway from her P.O.V. Everything's pretty fuzzy, but from out of nowhere, Andrea appears, wearing Quinn's glasses, walking in the F.C.'s direction. She walks unsteadily, her arms outspread.)

**ANDREA:** (_awed tone_) Cool.

(cut to Andrea's P.O.V., which is framed by dark outer rims of the glasses. The colors of the hallway have bled together to form a pastel wave. As Andrea approaches the F.C., Quinn's body stretches until it coils around like a snake. Stacy and Tiffany's bodies balloon outward. Sandi's head stretches and swells in grotesque proportions.)

(_resume normal shot of the F.C. Quinn's still watching Andrea._)

**QUINN:** Um...

(_Meanwhile, Sandi's getting pissed off._)

**SANDI:** **Quinn**!

(Quinn jerks her head to the left and looks in that direction, trying to avert attention from Andrea.)

**QUINN:** Well, Sandi, I --

(She's about to respond again, when she sees something off screen and gasps a second time. cut to hallway from her P.O.V. Daria and Jane appear out of the fuzzy surroundings, walking in the F.C.'s direction, opposite direction from Andrea. resume shot of the F.C. Quinn tries to shield her face. She knows Daria will let her have it if she sees her without glasses or if she sees Andrea **with** them [Btw: somehow, she just knows they're hers. She never once thinks that maybe Andrea got a pair just like hers].)

**SANDI:** (_"you're on thin ice" tone_) Quinn, **what** are you **doing**?

(We then see Andrea walk past the F.C. in the foreground. pan shot to follow Andrea as she walks. Just as she's heading toward an intersecting corridor, Daria and Jane turn down that corridor. pause shot. Andrea walks past the corridor, exits off screen right. Meanwhile, Daria and Jane stop next to a set of lockers, presumably their own. They appear to not have noticed anything unusual. cut to shot of the F.C. Quinn gazes to the left. cut to shot of hallway from her P.O.V. -- empty. resume wide shot. Quinn relaxes, turns toward Sandi.)

**QUINN:** Sure I'll cut class with you guys. (_Bt_) Um, in fact, why don't we do it now?

(Sandi and Tiffany exchange surprised looks. Then Sandi turns to Quinn and gives a curt nod.)

**SANDI:** (_authoritative_) **Sounds** like a plan.

(Meanwhile, cut to shot of Daria and Jane at their lockers. Jane is fiddling through hers, Daria is leaning against hers, looking quite displeased.)

**DARIA:** (_irritated_) He didn't have to **hug** me. In front of the whole class.

**JANE:** (_reasonable_) Oh, you know how Mr. O'Neill gets when someone deciphers one of his mind-bending diagrams.

**DARIA:** The scariest thing was, he seemed to think I'd be okay with that sort of thing. That's just **wrong**. (_Bt_) He'd never have done it if I'd been --

(_From off screen, we hear Brittany's voice._)

**BRITTANY:** **Yoooo-hooo**! Daria!

(_Daria and Jane look at each other, frown._)

**DARIA & JANE:** Mmmmmrrrrrr...

(They turn to look left, toward the beginning of the corridor. Brittany and Kevin walk on screen , stand opposite them.)

**KEVIN:** (_goofy cheerfulness_) Hey Daria, lookin' **good**! (_gives her a thumbs up_)

(As he says this, Brittany's hands are clasped, and she's looking at Kevin with a vacant, adoring expression.)

**BRITTANY:** (_spacy cheerfulness_) See, Kevvy, I told you Daria'd come around. She's vain like **I** am!!!

**JANE:** (_to Daria. sarcastic_) Yes, you and Brittany share **so** many qualities.

**DARIA:** We both bre-- aw, forget it.

(_Bt_)

**KEVIN:** Say, Daria, does this mean you'll, like, be doing other stuff to, like, make yourself look good?

(_Daria gets a wicked half-smirk on her face._)

**DARIA:** (_slightly seductive tone_) Well I don't know, Kevin. I wouldn't want to make **Brittany** jealous.

**KEVIN:** (_oblivious_) Oh that's okay.

(_Suddenly Brittany glares at Kevin, her fists clenched._)

**BRITTANY:** What do you **mean** it's **okay**?!! Why **you**...**EAP**!!!

(_She pounds on Kevin with her fists, Kevin cringes._)

**KEVIN:** Ow! **Baaaaabe**! (_runs off screen. Brittany chases him._)

**DARIA:** (_watching them go. deadpan_) Another admirer bites the dust.

(_From off screen, we now hear Jodie's voice._)

**JODIE:** Hi guys!

(_Daria and Jane turn to look at her._)

**DARIA & JANE:** Hey, Jodie.

(_Jodie walks on screen from the left and stands beside them._)

**JODIE:** (_supportive tone_) Daria, I just want to say that I think you look really good today.

(_Bt_)

**DARIA:** (_grunting_) Thanks.

**JODIE:** Your contacts make you look kind of sweet, and vulnerable.

(_Daria's mouth curls with disgust._)

**DARIA:** **Ugh**!

**JANE:** Don't scare her, Jodie.

**JODIE:** (_amused_) I'm sorry Mr. O'Neill got carried away.

**DARIA:** (_resigned_) Yeah, well what do you expect? (_Bt_) Change one thing about you and everyone thinks you've become a different person.

**JODIE:** (_still amused, philosophical_) Well there **is** something to be said about changes expanding your options in life.

**JANE:** (_to herself_) Yeah, someone just has to **hear** it. (_looks at Daria_)

(_Jodie suddenly checks her watch._)

**JODIE:** Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you guys later. (_walks off screen_)

**DARIA & JANE:** Bye.

(_Bt_)

**DARIA:** Yeah, we'd better head to class. (_Bt_) I sure hope **Quinn's** suffering as much as I've been today. (_Pause. sees Jane staring off screen left._) Jane?

**JANE:** (_quiet awe_) Whoa, check **her** out!

(_Daria turns to look. Gets an expression of astonishment._)

**DARIA:** What the...?

(cut to side shot of Daria and Jane, obviously from Andrea's P.O.V. Their bodies lengthen into snake-like forms, intertwine, and merge at the head. Around them, the lockers curve back and forth, as if swaying to rhythmic music. cut to wide shot of Daria and Jane as they appear normally. Both are wearing expressions of shock. Andrea walks on screen, wearing Quinn's glasses. Stands across from Daria and Jane, where Jodie was before. Daria frowns, recognizing the glasses. Andrea takes them off and hands them to Daria.)

**ANDREA:** (_expressionless_) I think these are yours. You seem to be missing a pair.

(_Daria receives the glasses._)

**DARIA:** (befuddled -- for her. "Andrea's actually **talking** to me?") Um... thanks.

(_Pause_)

**ANDREA:** They were a pretty big trip for a while, but now I'm kind of nauseous. (_Bt_) It's a **cool** kind of nauseous, though.

(Without another word, she walks away, off screen right. Jane watches her go.)

**JANE:** Um... bye? (turns to Daria, who's looking at the glasses with a puzzled, irritated expression on her face) Are those Quinn's?

**DARIA:** Yep.

(Jane reaches over and takes the glasses. She tries them on. Her face takes on look of awe.)

**JANE:** **Whoa**! These are pretty cool. (_possessive tone creeps in_) Hey, if she doesn't want them, I **know** I could put these to good use.

(_Daria holds out her hand._)

**DARIA:** Not so fast. (_Jane, with some reluctance, takes off the glasses and gives them to Daria._) No **way** she's getting away with this. Five bucks a day for no work??? (_Bt_) C'mon.

(_Daria walks off screen left. Jane follows._)

(cut to side close-up Daria and Jane walking into the intersecting corridor. They stop and look around.)

**DARIA:** Now where --?

**JANE:** **Daria**. (_nods her head to her right. Daria looks._)

(cut to their P.O.V. We see the Fashion Club in the distance, near the exit doors. cut to wide side shot of the F.C. walking to the exit. Quinn drags behind a bit. From off screen left, Daria comes up behind her and grabs her shoulder. Jane follows.)

**DARIA:** Aren't you **forgetting** something? (_holds out the glasses_)

(_Quinn looks down, cringes._)

**QUINN:** (_knows she's busted. feeble_) Ugh.

(As in the beginning of this episode, the other F.C.s shudder and step away from Daria and Jane.)

**F.C:** **Ewwwwww**!!!

(Jane looks at the F.C. She bares her teeth, growls a little. Stacy and Tiffany gasp and run toward the exit. Sandi stands there for a few seconds. She raises her fists, looking as though she's ready to take Jane on. Then she groans and runs for the exit, too. Daria, Quinn, and Jane watch the F.C. go.)

**JANE:** (_amused_) Fashion victims bite the dust.

(_Quinn looks down at the glasses._)

**QUINN:** (_to Daria. shocked_) Where did you **find** those?

**DARIA:** (_hard tone_) Apparently not where they were supposed to be. (_Bt_) On **you**.

(_Quinn looks at her with a pleading expression._)

**QUINN:** You won't tell Mom and Dad, will you?

(_Daria holds out the glasses._)

**DARIA:** Wear these and there'll be nothing **to** tell.

(_Bt. Quinn waves her fists in the air._)

**QUINN:** Well I **won't**! (_stalks away_)

(_Pause. Daria and Jane watch her go. Daria cocks an eyelid._)

**DARIA:** (_to Quinn_) So you plan on stumbling around for the rest of your life? (_Bt. as she says this, Quinn slows down, nearly stops._) Have you thought it through about how you'd hide this from our parents?

(_Quinn stops. She twists her hands together._)

**QUINN:** (_uncomfortable_) Well, um, I haven't... really... reached that part.

(_Daria looks at the glasses._)

**DARIA:** Well I can see these haven't completely gone to your head, yet.

(_Quinn turns around and glares at Daria, who's coming up to her with Jane._)

**QUINN:** (_to Daria. pissed_) Don't you have a **class** to go to???

**DARIA:** Don't **you**?

**JANE:** (_to Quinn_) Come on, let's see what you look like in these things. (_gestures to Daria to hand over the glasses_)

(Pause. Daria holds out the glasses to Quinn. Quinn hesitates before taking them, frowning with disgust. Finally she swipes the glasses, puts them on. She looks sulky and Daria-esque.)

**JANE:** (_surprised. sincere_) Hey, not bad!

**QUINN:** **Agh**! (_yanks off the glasses_)

**DARIA:** (_to Jane_) Sorry.

**JANE:** (_unfazed_) Yeah, yeah, she's been programmed to think the opposite of what an unpopular person tells her. I get it.

(Quinn stalks over to one of the groups of lockers and leans against one. She looks at the glasses.)

**QUINN:** (_semi-whiny. confused_) Daria, I don't know what to **do**! (_waves glasses as she says this_) These things **have** gone and messed with my head! (_rushes on before Daria can speak._) I mean, it's like I put these on and I can see stuff that I couldn't see before and want to do stuff differently and it's kind of, um, not that bad. (_voice trails off on a thoughtful note_)

**DARIA:** (_subtle surprise_) So you **do** like the glasses?

**QUINN:** I **guess**, but when I wear them people act like I'm some big **freak** and won't talk to me! I mean, I haven't changed **that** much. (_rambles on a bit to herself_) I'm not gonna join the **chemistry** club, or anything....

(Pause. Then Daria looks at Jane and sighs a "I know where this is headed" sigh. It's Jane's turn to smirk knowingly.)

**DARIA:** (_resigned. serious_) Look, Quinn, I'll only say this once. You and I aren't so different in some ways.

(_Bt. Quinn's listening, wearing a neutral expression._)

**DARIA:** (_continuing_) We both know that other people judge us by our appearance, so we want it to be on our own terms. We create these identities that we feel reflect our **true** selves -- you bouncy and cute, me --

(She reaches for Quinn's glasses and puts them on to emphasize her point. cut to Daria's P.O.V. Quinn looks like the Picasso-style painting Jane was working on at the beginning of Act II. resume shot of Daria. She gets a stunned expression on her face and briefly loses track of what she's been saying. Quickly takes off the glasses, hands them back to Quinn.)

**DARIA:** (_trying to get back on track_) Um... well, anyway... as I was saying, we create these identities, and refuse to budge from them in any way out of fear of rejection or loss of self-control.

(_Pause. Then Quinn throws her hands in the air._)

**QUINN:** (_exasperated_) Well, **duh**! Who **doesn't** do that?! But what am I supposed to do about it **now**? (_looks at the glasses again_)

**DARIA:** I don't know. The funny thing is, sometimes the identities we create become as false to ourselves as anything **other** people may guess about us.

(_Bt. Quinn frowns, trying to understand._)

**DARIA:** (_more pointedly_) **Meaning** (_Pause_) you already feel different about yourself because of the glasses. So you can't return to your old identity, not without feeling a sense of loss, anyway. (_Bt_) So I guess from now on, you'll just have to wear them.

(_Pause. Quinn sighs, looking resigned and depressed._)

**DARIA:** (_seeing this_) **Most** of the time.

(_Pause. Quinn stares at the ground._)

**QUINN:** (_quietly_) My friends'll hate me.

**JANE:** Maybe so, but somehow I don't think you'll **care**.

**DARIA:** You'll have to deal with jerks who don't understand you your whole life. (_Bt_) Might as well learn to cope with it now. (_Bt_) Your glasses work for you, so why mess up a good thing?

(Quinn's still looking at the ground. Then realization slowly grows on her face. She sighs.)

**QUINN:** You're right. (_Pause. lifts face_) You're **right**.

(_Bt_)

**JANE:** (_to Daria. softly_) Good advice, big sis.

(_Daria smirks a reply._)

(_cut to: _)

SCENE 4 (_outside Jane's house, the next morning_)

(Shot of outside, Daria standing by the front door, her back to us. cut to close-up front door. It opens, Jane comes out. She stands there, looking at Daria for a second.)

**JANE:** (_a bit flat_) Oh.

(_Daria and Jane turn and face front. Daria is wearing her glasses._)

**DARIA:** (_amused, but understanding_) Expecting **not** to see something?

**JANE:** Yeah, well...

(cut to shot of sidewalk. From off screen, Daria and Jane step onto it, start walking.)

**JANE:** So I'm assuming you didn't take to heart the advice you gave yesterday?

**DARIA:** Sure I did. Why wouldn't I have?

**JANE:** The way you talked about other people's opinions not bothering you, I thought --

(_Daria motions for Jane to stop. She smirks a slightly resigned smirk._)

**DARIA:** Let's put it this way, my situation's not exactly like Quinn's. (_Bt_) She puts on glasses and thinks the world's a different place. I wear my contacts, and... well while I **like** them, I don't see much of a change -- other than how people treat me. So I figure, why **not** the glasses? Beats touching my eyeballs twice a day.

**JANE:** (_in a not-quite-satisfied tone_) So you'll never ever wear contacts to school again?

**DARIA:** (_full-on smirk_) I wouldn't say **never**.

(_Jane smiles a "hell, at least it's something" smile, and shrugs._)

**JANE:** Let's just hope Quinn took your advice to heart.

**DARIA:** I don't know. She wore her glasses last night, but she was gone this morning by the time I came down. So we'll have to wait and see.

(fade-out, fade-in. Jane and Daria stand in the same positions as when they were walking to school. The backdrop has changed from residential neighborhood to school hallway. Daria and Jane are both looking straight ahead and frowning.)

**JANE:** (_slightly annoyed_) Well, **there's** your answer.

**DARIA:** (_curt_) **Um-hmm**.

(cut to shot of Quinn talking with the rest of the Fashion Club and **not** wearing her glasses. return to close-up of Jane and Daria. Daria sighs.)

**DARIA:** I guess I was asking too much of her. Who could blame her for not wanting to sacrifice everything that's given her life meaning 'til now? (_Bt_) From now on, she'll have to figure out on her **own** what's best for her.

(Daria turns left and exits off screen. Jane pauses, watching her go. She looks chastened.)

**JANE:** (_pointedly. to herself_) Yeah.

(cut to shot of the F.C. Quinn has fallen silent and has a thoughtful look on her face. [btw: she doesn't know she's been watched])

(_fade-out. fade-in to: _)

SCENE 5 (_DeMartino's classroom_)

(Wide shot of the class, with DeMartino in front, writing on the board. cut to shot of Quinn and Stacy, sitting in the back. Quinn's squinting, trying to make out the words, but having no luck. Finally she turns to Stacy and taps her on the arm. Stacy looks up from her copy of Waif.)

**QUINN:** Um, Stacy, I think I'm gonna move into Jeannie's old seat from now on, the view of the fashion **don'ts** is much better from there which means I'll be able to stop them before they become fashion **do's**. You understand, right?

(_Stacy becomes subdued at the thought of Quinn leaving her._)

**STACY:** Sure, Quinn.

(cut to side shot of the desks. Quinn creeps up the row to the empty desk she sat in during Act II, Scene 7. As before, she gets settled a bit before DeMartino interrupts her. From off screen:)

**DeMARTINO:** Weeeeeeeeell, QUINN!

(_cut to close-up of DeMartino. His arms are folded and eye is bulging._)

**DeMARTINO:** **Nice** to see ya. Would you **care** to be SINGled out again? though it's **not** like you have a CHOICE!!!

(cut to frontal close-up Quinn. She only looks mildly unnerved this time. Her expression turns to one of calm.)

**QUINN:** Okay, sure.

(_cut to close-up DeMartino. His arms drop to their sides._)

**DeMARTINO:** Huh?!

(_cut to close-up Quinn. She has on an amused, slightly exasperated smile._)

**QUINN:** I said **okay**.

(cut to close-up DeMartino. His face shows the faintest glimmer of respect. cut to close-up Quinn. She raises her brows in a "go ahead, do your worst" manner.)

**** THE END [roll the credits.........................]

Thought you could get away, just like that??? Well, you can... but I hope you'll keep on reading to get my commentary on this episode.

First, if you're ever bored on a rainy day, here's a little game for you: count the number of times people say "Um" in this episode. I guarantee you'll be pleasantly surprised...

Second, my vision's pretty good, so I don't know **how** near-sighted 20/100 would be. It may not be very near-sighted at all, but for the purposes of this episode, it sounded dramatic (_as opposed to even 20/150, etc._). Sorry if I've given a grossly inaccurate portrayal of near-sightedness... all I can say is that literary license goaded me on. :-)

Points of Interest:

* references to Manifest Destiny and the Act II line "They stand proudly and proclaim 'I am,'" come from "Esteemsters." 
* reference to VAL magazine at the optometrist's -- "The Lost Girls" 
* Daria's quote about shopping in Act I is borrowed from /All Quiet on the Western Front/.

Continuity

I tried to keep everything exactly as the show would have it, but there were a couple of things I got confused about or invented. I don't think the optometrist in "Through a Lens Darkly" had a name, so I gave him one. I also couldn't remember if Daria's and Jane's locker was anywhere near an intersecting corridor [do you pay attention to that stuff?], so I invented one for the sake of the plot. Lastly, I couldn't remember if the bathroom doors faced the hallway, or if people had to go through a small passage to get to them [it's been a while since I've seen "The Lost Girls"]. So if I'm wrong, may I forever wear a scarlet letter. :-)

Parallels with "Through a Lens Darkly":

* visit to the optometrist (_and that damn refraction machine_) 
* both Daria and Quinn have angst-ridden moments in the bathroom 
* both ditch their glasses because they're afraid they'll harm their looks, and both end up somewhat reverting back to their usual selves by the end of the episode

finally... COMMENTARY (_that other stuff above is filler!_)

First, I'll ask whether people view Daria's and Quinn's actions at the end of this episode as a **cop-out**? I could definitely see it both ways, although I will say that in future fanfics (_if I ever have time to write them -- my schedule!_), I won't forget that Quinn has vision problems.

Second: from the first time I saw "Cafe Disaffecto," where Quinn lures that guy into buying her long-distance phone cards, I knew she was smart. She's probably as smart as Daria, just as Daria is as pretty (_and some would say more so_) as Quinn. I felt like giving Quinn the chance to **show** that she could be intelligent... and I also thought that having a vision problem could serve as a unique explanation for why Quinn's so self-absorbed: she can't **see** there's a bigger world out there. And once she can, she can't ignore it...

**Where "Through a Lens Darkly" comes in:** I got the inspiration for my episode after I saw TALD for the first time (_I think because I was mad that Quinn wasn't in it more_). As I developed the storyline, I realized I could address issues that had only been lightly touched upon in TALD. One is how people treat you differently once you change your looks. In TALD, we saw Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Li treat Daria differently on the day she wore contacts, but otherwise the episode was about Daria's personal struggle with vanity. I wanted to flesh out the theme of how to cope when people act like you're not you.

The other major issue has to do with Jane, and the pleasure she gets whenever Daria loosens up (_"**gee**, you may join the human race after all"_). In TALD, she got a thrill from Daria's admission that she was vain... but later, she was pretty supportive when Daria said she was going back to her glasses. My thoughts on that: Jane no doubt **does** support Daria's choices for the most part... but in the case of the glasses, what if Daria's choice to wear them caused her to become vain-aphobic all over again? I could see Jane becoming impatient with her -- "you're not Mother Theresa" -- which is a scenario I wanted to bring out in this fanfic.

Most of all, I wrote this because I thought it'd be cool to see Quinn in glasses and Daria in her contacts again. :-)

Phew... a postscript as long as the "episode" itself! Thanks for reading...

This fanfic is the property of Kara Wild, originally copyrighted May 1999, revised copyrighted June 1999. All rights reserved.


End file.
